ECHO I - THE IRREVERSIBLE CESSATION OF BIOLOGICAL FUNCTION

There was a knock on the door. I roused from my slumber and coughed.

I am unpresentable. Do not come in.

The door opened regardless and in walked an ANGEL.

If I had been another man then maybe it would have meant something to me. The ANGEL was blindingly radiant, and I still looked even as it hurt.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE PRESENTABLE FOR THE LORD.

I understood the ANGEL and I didn't. The meanings layered on top of one another and rolled together into something (in)comprehensible. If I were to describe it, it would sound something like this:

Abstract painting of a bright and colorful scene, flowing into a bright light in the center. Text on the image reads "Like hundreds of birds taking flight at once. A cacophony of wings and howls and light that burnt an after image into me."

It was like a chorus, harmonious and not. Every voice said something different and meant the same.

The ANGEL spoke.

It said:

WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE SHAMEFUL? HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THAT GOD MADE YOU IN his IMAGE?

I stared at the ANGEL

YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD.

I LOVE YOU.

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

And I cried:

You waited until my death to tell me this?

Do you know how long I have been looking for you, for someone, for anyone who could tell me that and mean it?

I spent my whole life hungry. And now you've told me there was a feast this whole time.

Unconditional love is what's promised right? That after it all I could go to God and still be accepted, even after it all. And it troubled me, because if that was true, and we were made in God's image, then why had I never felt it before now? You can imagine that it upset me. Even on my deathbed God had to mock me. I laid there, and the ANGEL watched me weep.